I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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