also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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