In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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