whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im just a social blackout drinker.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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