I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
