My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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