if you like me you must not know who I am
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
