oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
