Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
