In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
