this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
