I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
