Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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