piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
