i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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