Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
