yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
