Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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