Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
