Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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