Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
