This girl is more easily done than said...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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