After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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