I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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