Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
