Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
