woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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