Why are handjobs necessary in class?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
