ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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