Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
