I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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