guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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