The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
