The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
why is half of my head shaved?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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