Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
