im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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