It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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