matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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