I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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