i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
