new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
