I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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