He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize