Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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