Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
