It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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