She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
