I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
