i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
