Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We are two peas in an std pod
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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