is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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