Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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