therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
