I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
