Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
