my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
