I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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