20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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