No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
