my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
