Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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