I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do herpes really smell.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
