so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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