How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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