Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
