I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
